Close Relationships

I and Thou focuses on self-identity and the interface between one individual and others. The nature of close relationships and bonding is discussed. The discussion of individuals as members of groups continues in Group Dynamics

Here is an excerpt: "One of the main struggles of human existence is between self-identity and group membership; between self-interest and group interest; between bonding, belonging and being a free independent soul. There is no final resting-place for humans because this dialectical struggle between alone and together is a tense interaction that dominates the human experience everyday of every life.

Humans are social animals and generally depend on each other to provide context and meaning. "Thinking" is largely talking, a social activity. Isolated individuals with talk to themselves and will tend to lose track of what is important and real without interactions with others. Humans interact continuously and although they may not agree with one another, still seek and require consensus about what is real and true. Humans build a culture from sharing experiences and reporting conscious experiences. Culture has simple roots - the interaction of humans in small groups and the interaction of groups. The complexity grows as the numbers and variety of groups proliferate, the rules of conduct multiply. In a modern urban society, access to life’s essentials involves increasingly complex interactions with others.

Humans have a deep tendency to form groups, to develop and defend boundaries and to treat outsiders as enemies. All groups have interests, privileges and costs of membership. All groups have hierarchies and competition for privilege and prestige. Membership in a group is a high priority for every human and isolation from a group is aberrant or symptomatic of psychopathology. Loneliness is suffering, and remedies for loneliness are highly valued. Although there is a strong drive in humans to feel free and independent, freedom usually means loneliness and the drive to be accepted into a group is stronger than the drive to be free.

A human tendency is to suffer loneliness and to become suspicious and hostile when alone for extended periods. The strongest drive is to have a deep bond with one person, the soul mate, lover and custodian. Devotion frees."

Download eBook in the Adobe PDF format.